Meet my aunt Asuman & Her Butterfly Touch

Meet my aunt Asuman Polat. She migrated to the United States in the 1950s for one reason: to divorce her husband. At the time, a woman could not obtain a divorce without her husband’s consent in Turkey.  

Thinking outside the box, Asuman made a radical decision. She didn’t speak a word of English. She was a high school graduate with limited means but enormous courage. When an opportunity to go to New York appeared, she took it. She even remarried in New York, hoping it would help finalize her divorce in Istanbul. But life was not simple — her husband resisted the divorce for eight long years.

Still, America gave her something priceless: freedom. Freedom to work, to rebuild, and eventually to start a business.

She worked almost until the end of her life, passing in 2025 at the age of 89. Along the way, she fully exercised her independence — including getting a divorce three more times 🙂.

She built a large and loving family in the United States. Some of her grandchildren don’t speak fluent Turkish. At family gatherings, we’ve become a true melting-pot family, soon to quote percentages of race and origin.

Asuman became an entrepreneur out of necessity, but she built a life on her own terms. She became a millionaire in the 1960s and died as a multi-millionaire, leaving a huge legacy. That was her not-so-quiet revolution.

A Different Generation, A Different Journey

I was born in Istanbul, knowing I had an aunt in New York, but our interaction was limited until I pursued my university education abroad.

My parents encouraged me to invest in my education. With support but no guidance, I completed my undergraduate degree at the London School of Economics and later earned an MBA from Columbia Business School. When I arrived in the United States in the 1990s, it was by choice — to begin my career at the New York Stock Exchange.

My challenges were different from my aunt’s. I had education and opportunity, yet I was searching for guidance, belonging, and women like me. My aunt didn’t fully understand my aspirations, but she always supported me. Like my mother, she would say:

“If I did it, so can you. You have more education, more resources, more support — you should do even better than me.”

Her belief in me mattered, even if our worlds were different.

Searching for Belonging

In the U.S., I kept searching for community. I moved from Turkish networks to women-in-finance groups to Columbia Business School circles, learning from others as I shaped my goals.

Yet even after 20 years in America, I didn’t feel fully Turkish or fully American. I often felt planted somewhere, but not entirely rooted.

Then in 2008, I discovered the TED community and felt at home almost instantly. That’s when it became clear: what I was seeking was a safe space grounded in shared values and shared purpose.

From Personal Need to Collective Action

Inspired by that sense of belonging, I founded the Turkish Women’s International Network (TurkishWIN) in New York in 2010 to connect with women like me.

What started as a personal search grew into something bigger.

Today, TurkishWIN is a global network for collective action, bringing together women with cultural, family, or professional ties to Turkey who want to grow, give back, and create impact together.

We design mentoring, storytelling, and community experiences that turn lived experience into shared wisdom — and shared wisdom into opportunity.

Our focus is not only on individual success, but on lifting others as we rise. We build social capital. We nurture cross-generational solidarity. We invest in legacy.

Through our collective actions, we support Turkey’s rising female leaders and help young women build careers they love.

The Butterfly Effect

Looking back, my aunt Asuman’s decision to seek a divorce created a butterfly effect across generations.

Her quest for freedom shaped a family story that ultimately shaped my own journey. And that journey, in turn, shaped a community and a movement.

Life is full of unexpected turns. Sometimes, one woman’s brave choice quietly opens doors for many others.

And sometimes, a woman’s act of courage becomes a collective legacy.